This few days, I've been dreaming about him. Twice was during his trip to Malacca. And once was this morning. It's not like this is the first time I'm dreaming about him. But all these dream really shows that i love him so much.

The first dream was the first night he was at Malacca. I was waiting for his text. Wondering if there's any wifi there. Then i found out that his friend post a pic. And the caption included 'limited wifi'. That's when i realized that i just have to wait till he's back in SG. And so i dream that he texted in the awesome cyclers group. And i was so sad about it. Hahha. Pathetic. But i knew that if he were to text me with the limited wifi it wouldn't be worth it.

The second dream was the very next day. That day, i accompanied my friend to meet someone. I knew them, and they too knew me. And at one point they suddenly asked how is my relationship with him. I was shocked. I didn't expect them to ask me that. I was wondering if he told them. And that night i dreamt that he confessed by texying me. Saying that, he told his friends. Hahah.

And this morning was the horrible dream ever. I dreamt that we were on a trip to some showcase or some kind of museum. And he was there. My parents were there. My former and present classmates were there too. At one point, we were eating and talking at the same time. I'm not sure how we come to a fight about me loving him. A girl named, Muzayanah told my parents that he is a no good guy. Telling everybody that he is just not for me. I cried, denying all that cos i knew him better than all of them. My parents doesn't approve of him. And i was crying, walking away from them. Only the one who understands me followed me. And i woke up from that horrible dream just to realized that I'm nearly crying. I was sobbing.

I just don't know why i dream of him. But what i know is that i love him so much. And that he comes into my dreams was facinating.

The truth is out. And yes i love him. So my 4 years of waiting is finally done. But i can't deny that I'll be jealous of his ex. Their love for each other is just so deep. And I'm prepared to overcome this. I know i can.

At this moment, I'm trying to know him better. Prove my love to him. Cherish him for as long as i can. And I'm also hoping to stay in his heart foever. Hoping that i do have a place there. Not as deep as his ex but as important.

Talking about the future does make me wonder if it will really happen. What i can do now is pray for the best. Just like how i pray to be with him. Maybe he's here for a moment. Maybe forever. But he's here for a reason. My happiness is in him. And i hope it's forever.

Jealousy. It will always be there. Whether I'm concern or not, just know that deep down I'll be jealous. Jealous because i care for you. Because i love you. But I don't want any unreasonable fights in the relationship. And know that there will be a reason for everything i do. And I do not regret this decision that i made.

Labels: The only decision that i will regret is letting you go.